Designated Lover

I had a friend 
Said I was too drunk to drive
Then he said love would end
But he would help me survive it
I said, “I don’t know what you mean!”
He threw my keys into the night
Knocked me to my knees
Told me not to fight it

That same friend sat me down
Bought me a beer
Then he scanned the bar
His motive unclear
That same friend
Introduced me to her
So could drink and pretend 
We were made for each other

Love’s a word game
The winner is mute
It’s a cupid taking aim
Too stupid to shoot
If love is a drink
I’ve had more than my share
But not enough to stop thinking 
Nor enough to not care

A man has no enemy
Except what he thinks is right
I’ve lost my keys
So please be my
Designated lover 
Just for tonight.

She decided not to like me 
Before we even met
She didn’t strike me
As having many regrets
It went downhill 
From the moment we sat
Down at the bar to chat
And try to connect

I started to dwell
On my need to start to move
As she started to explain hell
And how it met her approval
I know she heard what I said
When I asked if she’d care
If I left because she said, 
“And go where?”

Love’s a runaway train, 
I’m in the club car
I’ve tried to abstain
But I didn’t get far
Love is a drunk
High and dry with no fare
It’s a deep blue funk
A monk with no prayer

A man’s only real enemy
Is what he believes is right
Where’d I leave my keys?
Won’t you please 
Be my designated lover 

Friends don’t let friends
Get behind the wheel
Of a vehicle fueled 
By what love 
Makes you feel
Isolation is a given
And never over
When a man’s being driven 
By a designated lover

Love is retreat
Called for as I run
From a thug in the street
With a loaded handgun
Love is a victory
Chewed up and spit
Back out as defeat
In my face as I quit

If love was in vain
I wouldn’t be scared
Of the music in its name
Or the tears that we shared
It’s the dead past we spent
On that last shot of dope
It’s the wet bills that went 
For that shot glass full of hope

A man has no enemy
Unless he’s too loose or too tight
But I am 
And I long for
A designated lover 
To make it right

My only real enemy 
Is you tonight
But I have no keys
And no clue
So won’t you
Be my designated lover